Asunder by Jodi Meadows

2 Jul

13043180

Book Two in the Newsoul Series

Rating: One out of Five Stars

I am going to give everyone a heads up… this review will be snarktastic.

So I’ve had some time to step away from this book and allow my feelings to mellow out a bit. But sadly, my rating is not changing from a One Star. I know a lot of people ohemgee-loved-this-book but I have to, respectively, disagree. Please please don’t hate me for this review.

Be warned: There are spoilers aplenty in this.

And I apologize in advance for my swearing. *Sowwy*

Alright:

bmode

What, in all that is good and holy in this world, the f**k was Meadows thinking with this disaster of book? I don’t think I’ve read something so disorganized as this plot or as weak and pathetic as a main a character since 50 Shades of Bullshit landed in my unknowing lap. And the worst part about my hatred of this book was that I gave Incarnate FOUR STARS! Four freaking stars. Talk about fab to drab in 400 pages. Good lord I would rather torture myself with entire 1500 page Matched series again before I would submit to reading Asunder a second time. It was painfully awful. And I can actually say PAINFULLY because I rolled my eyes so many times while I went through chapters of this book I gave myself a headache. A self-induced, eye rolling headache. If that doesn’t scream “bad book” I don’t know WHAT does.

To be fair, I will list my grievances in a civilized and decent manner and feel free to argue against any of the following points:

1.) As expressed clearly in my review of Incarnate, the world building was extremely lacking. But I think I had tricked myself into thinking that it was acceptable in Book One because the concept was so new. Perhaps my WSOD meter was just catching up?  Now though, the newness has worn off and I am left with this jumble of words and bullshit that is attempting to congeal it’s self into some semblance of a working plot. For example: There’s only one effing city in the whole world (planet? land? Earth? Universe?) and it can house a million people? And yet you can walk from one side of the city to the other in a day. A city where every single “soul” has their own house, with their own yard? Riiight. OK yeah that makes PERFECT F*CKING SENSE. And this glorious city that just sits on this volcano just “happens” to have the right amount of houses with walls that, excuse me, pulse? Cool, nbd, awesome. Let me just segway into my next point on that creepy shit..

2.)Sooo… our “bad guy” is actually the wall that pulses? Who is actually Janan?  Who is a god but USED to be a real person? And he’s the reason that everything happens in this god-forsaken world/land/planet?

confused
No, that’s not confusing at all. Totally understand THAT connection. Moving on.

(If you don’t get the sarcasm in the points above, shame on you. Just stop reading now)

Ok so besides the completely illogical world that is never fully described and the creepy as f*ck wall/bad guy/god thingy, we could almost save this book at a couple stars if we had a solid main character and a good romance. But alas, that was not to be found in this darling book. Proceed on, oh bitchy rant!

3.) Ana. Young, innocent, naive, newsoul Ana. How I wish you had one ounce of redeeming qualities in you. Instead, if I saw you on the streets, I would throw a rock at you too, you stupid fickle twat. Now here is my biggest beef with Meadows at the moment: WHY DID YOU CHANGE ANA SO MUCH? Yes, she was indecisive and and yes, she kind of made no sense in her decisions making, but at least she was endearing! You tried too hard and tried to accomplish so much with her and it just fell so flat. Everything became soo… coincidental. She just “happens” to have the key that “happens” to be the clue to unlocking this whole messed up Janan crap? I can see how Ana was trying to be this Grand Savior and all that but she just.. wasn’t. She’s weak. Annoying, self-centered and weak. And she has a wrapped and twisted review on reality, I feel sorry for the poor thing. I mean come on, she would NEVER confront Sam on anything. Ana was so terrified of making him mad or uncomfortable or upset she never DID anything. She was so forgiving (practically instantaneously) that every time she “got mad” I pictured a 2 year old stomping her feet for 30 seconds than moving onto the next toy. And her morals went out the window. She wanted to wait to have sex in Incarnate but she was like a two dollar hussy in Asunder. Ugh.

4.) And don’t even get me STARTED on Sam and their “romance”. Seriously. Don’t.

shot

I could really go on and on.. but I’ll save myself a hand cramp and your most likely bleeding ears from my never-ending spiel of how disappointed I am with this book. I will read the third, purely because I did enjoy the first so much and because I adore Jodi Meadows. But lord help me if it’s as twisted and stupid as the second.
going to hell

To Read Tuesday – 2013’s remaining releases

25 Jun

I have been a SUPER SLACKER on my To-Reads Tuesdays lately. I wish there was some way to quit and be a full time blogger/reader… but alas, I must make money. So until some smitten publisher comes and swoops me up, I do have to work a normal job.

Instead of giving some in-depth analysis into one book, below is a list of all the 2013 releases I am looking forward to for the next 6 months!

16045008viral nationcarniepunkindelibledoon the bitter kingdom crown of midnightproject cain antigo marieendless these broken stars world after unsouledtheenchanterPerfect Ruinallegianthorde curtsies champion.indd rebel spring

Also not on here:

The King’s Guard by Rae Carson (Fire and Thorns 0.7)

Altered by Gennifer Albin (Crewel World 2)

New Book Alert – The Young Elites by Marie Lu

25 Jun

As per Goodreads:

The new series, set in what Putnam described as a “Renaissance-like world,” is called The Young Elites. It follows three rival societies with supernatural powers battling for supremacy.

And a girl transforms from an unwanted daughter into a fearsome leader, igniting panic and sparking war between seven nations.

The first book in the series is set for fall 2014.

 

My Reaction:

ANOTHER MARIE LU SERIES!!!

ogm

This book does sound a lot like Legend…

BUT WHO GIVES A SHIT LEGEND WAS AMAZING.

ledastray

And the fact that it will be coming out in 2014 just makes my life.

Mark it as a To-Read here.

 

Poison by Bridget Zinn

24 Jun

Poison

No series

Rating: Two out of Five Stars

This book reminds me a lot of Scarlet by A.C Gaughen. It’s a little slip of a story with a lot of fluff and not a lot of meat. Although I will admit that I had QUITE the shock when we find out who Kyra’s mom is. GASP! I was totally taken by surprise.  So well done, Zinn.

I am always hesitant to read stand alone books because there just is not enough time to really get into the story. The characters, the world, the premise tend to be a bit superficial. ESPECIALLY when it’s a fantasy book. To develop a world in 300 pages that’s believable, a plot that viable, and a character that’s relatable is pretty much impossible. Hence my beef with stand alone fantasy books and this book in particular. The pro-tag was meh, the storyline was alright and I couldn’t even begin to explain the world because it wasn’t explained at all in the book.

If I was to describe this book, I would stick with words like “cute” and “quaint”. It’s a little young, maybe more geared to late middle-grade, than YA readers. I mean come on, she has a baby pig as a pet guide dog. And there’s no real tension or anything truly gripping but it’s an easy read. So, if you are looking for a true fluff book, something you don’t really have to pay attention to, go for it. But if you are looking for something with true substance, look elsewhere my friends.

 

Incarnate by Jodi Meadows

20 Jun

incarnate

Book One in the Newsoul Series

Rating: Four out of Five Stars

This will be an interesting review to write…

I am going to make this simple as I can: I liked this book but it confused the shit out of me. It was an interesting concept that was totally in it’s own world of weirdness. It was an intriguing storyline and that cover??? TO. DIE. FOR.

Now, there are pros and cons to being such a different story. It was it’s own completely unique concept and like nothing I’ve ever read before, therefore the book had some hurdles to jump through to compensate that my WSOD was confronted with this scenario for the first time. As bad as this may sound, once you’ve read a dystopia novel or fantasy novel, you kind of “get” how they play out. For dystopias, there’s always a cause for the apocalypse or downfall of democracy, there are people that took over, there are people that are trying to fight them, and then there’s the on going battle of survival or take down of the new government. Details vary in each dystopia but they have the same basic gist and premise in every book. Fantasy books always have a unique world, usually forresty and flowery with some kind of ancient magic attached to it, a pro-tag with some kind of connection to said land magic, and a evil doer trying to exploit that magic.

This book however, had none of these elements.

It WAS a fantasy book, but also with a science fiction flavor in it. But the science was based off the fantasy world so it wouldn’t actually count for “sci fi”. Also, you never really learn if this world is OUR world, just years before/after our time, or a completely new planet. Because it has the same properties as our world, plants, animals, gravity, ECT. but it also has slyphs (black shadow things that attack and burn you), dragons, trolls, and centaurs. Oh and then  there’s that thing where only one million souls are ever born and they keep being reincarnated.

So besides being confused on where the hell and when the hell this whole story takes place, I liked it. Which is strange because I was VERY confused at times. Ana, our pro-tag, is all over the place with rapid fire decision making skills and emotional changes I could hardly keep up with. Most of the time I had no idea what was going on… and the “love story”? Pooh. And yet for some strange reason… I still liked it?

Ah well… *shurgs* Read it for me and then maybe we can all get together and discuss it, yeah?

New Book Alert- The Orphan Queen by Jodi Meadows

18 Jun

As per Goodreads:

The first in a new two-book series about an orphaned princess fighting to reclaim her kingdom while hiding her power from the masked vigilante hunting her, set in a world where magic is not just forbidden, but will soon destroy everything…

A reviewer also said: Game of Thrones meets Batman = epic Jodi Meadows.

Release date is 2015

My reaction:

I’m intrigued with this book. I have a mixed vibe on Meadow’s book but with that kind of descriptions?

princess

I love it

 

Mark it at a To Read here

New Book Alert: The Internment Chronicles by Lauren DeStefano

17 Jun

Perfect Ruin

Book One in the Internment Chronicles

I’ve known about this baby for awhile but….. IT FINALLY HAS A COVER!!

It’s so different from the Chemical Garden series. Much more.. artistic and interesting.

Anywho…

My Reaction:

Another DeStefano series?

babies

My reaction to the premise?

Ilikethat

Release date?

sadbaby

UPDATE:

WHOA WHOA WHOA It’s coming out THIS YEAR NOW!

Cheers

New Book Alert: Panic by Lauren Oliver

14 Jun

As per Goodreads:

Lauren Oliver confirmed that this stand-alone novel will fit into the genre of realistic fiction. It tells the story of a small Upstate New York town where the teens play a very dangerous game every summer.

My reaction:

A “stand-alone” book? In the YA genre? By someone who’s already had an extremely successful trilogy with FOUR bridges?

not going to happen

It will be a hit and then the publishers will be all

another

And I am TOTALLY alright with that.

Black Helicopters by Blythe Woolston

30 May

15798680

Rating: Four out of Five Starts

This book… this book is… is…. stunning.

Or as I said when I was 50 pages in “Holy shiznat, friends. This book is breathtaking in it’s simplicity and intensity.”

Black Helicopters is probably the most captivating book I’ve read in a looong looong time. Now I’ve read decent books lately, but they are my typical genre YA fantasy/dystopia books. This book is neither and yet it will appeal to ANYONE who likes to read those. Keeping in mind that this is a dark book though!  I am really struggling trying to write a proper review because I cannot capture the essence of this short story because it’s so… different? It’s pure and raw and graphic and its sooo emotional but it has the least emotional pro-tag I’ve ever read. It’s gritty and mind-boggling and twisted because the “bad guy” is our hero in the story. The warped, off-kilter villains we always read about in the newspapers is Black Helicopter’s narrators. It’s an amazing book with a deep, dark, scary viewpoint.

I’m in utter and completely awe of this. So I will stick with my original review on Goodreads of this:

wha

slow

 

Do your self a solid and take a few hours to read this baby. It’s short and will change your mind about a lot of things.

 

 

To read a well articulated review of this, because I completely failed at it, visit The Midnight Garden’s website.

Etiquette and Espionage by Gail Carriger

29 May

10874177

Book One in the Finishing School Series

Rating: Two out of Five Stars

This book has some really awesome qualities. And some really not so awesome qualities.

Pros:

1.) Concept – steam punk, dresses, finishing schools and assassins! What is there NOT to like about any of that?! And there is plenty of all of those yummy little things in this story.

2.) Pace – the tempo of the book is perfect for the theme; fast paced yet balanced. It has the right amount of dialogue and action scenes so it doesn’t bore you or exhaust you while reading.

3.) Um… I’ll try to think of a third…

Cons:

1.) Believability – I know I know, steampunk is a genre that you have to get into like fantasy. But my WSOD meter was way off the charts and the descriptions weren’t as developed as I wanted them to be. Pictures, as silly as that may sound, would be immensely helpful. (Scott Westerfeld did it in Leviathan!)

2.) Character Development – I wanted to strangle Sophronia most of the time. She’s a cocky, self absorbed little shit who needs to be walloped upside the head. She goes to a damn finishing school to get lady-ized and all she does is start to break more rules. WHY do the adult figures put up with it? It’s infuriating and turned me off from wanting to read the rest of the series. There’s a little thing called discipline that needs to be introduced to the book. If Sophronia would get caught, held accountable for her actions, and learned something from being punished, maybe I could empathize with her more. But instead she’s a bratty little wild child with no restraint. No thank you.

3.) Target readers/audience level – I will just go ahead and admit it: I have no idea who this book was written for. None. Zero. Zip. I know Gail Carriger has an adult series (which I have not read) and this was meant to be a YA book (but set in the same world). Hmmm… I think she got confused sometimes as to whom she was writing this for. The writing style is elevated: big words, gorgeous syntax, delicious flow. But the character is definitely a middle grade target (which is obvi from my rant above). Maybe she thought if she wrote the same way she did in her adult book but just made it a 14 year old character it would be ok? But I think if I was a 14 year old reading this, it might be a touch over my head. It definitely doesn’t have a specific target nor can it really cross into a Harry Potter like phenom of everyone-can-read-it book. It’s just awkwardly in the middle.

Alright, so I know my cons were a lot more con-ny then my pros were positive. I wanted to like this book, tried, cajoled, bribed my mind into wanting to adore this book. But I can’t. So I’ll leave my rating at a two and if I’m ever desperate for a book, maybe I’ll read the second in the series. Mer :/